A Most Unusual Computer

A few years back I was living in the Hill Country of E. Central Texas. I'd been on the road for a number of years, just following God - so I had with me just what would fit in my car. My journals and family photos and other things were stored in a friend's garage in Salem, Oregon.

One day my inner guidance told me that I could finally get the computer I'd always wanted. Hmm. Up 'til that time, I didn't know I'd wanted a computer. I was also told I'd be visiting Portland on such-and-such a date. I thought, well, that's a good idea - but there's no money for that. Yet.

Soon I received a call from my friend in Salem that her garage had burned down, and they were going to include me in their insurance settlement - and part of that would be money to fly me out there to inspect the damaged items to see what could be salvaged. The dates of the trip were the dates my guidance had given me. So - I went to Portland.

When the insurance money came through, I knew it would go to buy a computer. I contacted Sid and Marilyn Frances who lived in the Rose City area of Portland. I had lived with them before in intentional co-housing community; I had stayed in a little trailer in their back garden. They had a mom-pop printing operation, and had several computers. I asked them to have their computer guy build a p.c. for me, and we made plans for me to come back out to Portland so they could teach me how to use it.

When I arrived, Sid was finishing installing the programs he and Marilyn had chosen for me. Then it was time to go pick out a printer and scanner. Sid and I set out for Best Buy. I knew enough about talking with machines by then that I realized I should telepath to the boxed printers and scanners and ask for volunteers to join my computer setup. I bought a printer and scanner, and we took them home.

Sid worked and worked to try to get the scanner to connect. The printer was fine, but the scanner would not work. Finally Sid asked me to get out my dowsing rods and tune in with the scanner to see what was the matter spiritually. The scanner said to me, "This is a very high-vibrational operation you've got here."

I said, "Yes - we'll be doing channeling and healings - all kinds of Lightwork."

The scanner said, "Well, I was made to do porn."

"My goodness!" I replied. "Would you like me to do some healing work on you? A soul retrieval?"

"No!" said the scanner. "I want to do porn."

I told Sid what was up. We had a good laugh. Sid and Marilyn and I used to have the world's best laughs. This was a great one. The next morning we returned the scanner to Best Buy, though I never told them the whole truth about why we were returning it. Then I went back to the boxed machines and tuned-in with them. I had learned my lesson! This time I telepathed, "This is a very high-vibrational operation. No porn, no fear - only unconditional love and healing. Who would like to join us?" One machine volunteered. I bought it, we took it home, and it hooked up without a problem.

So - ever after that, something amazing happened with that computer setup. We would be standing in the room where it sat. We'd be talking about this or that. Suddenly, on its own, the scanner would start scanning. What it was scanning was apparently nothing - but there was something going on energetically, for sure. The scan completed, then the printer, on its own, would start to print. It would carefully print out a whole page, but when the page emerged, all that was visible was a fine spray of ink - no words or images visible to ordinary eyesight. If, however, I viewed the page energetically, scanning it with my inner vision as I passed the healing energy of my hand over it, I could pick up a message from the universe.

Once, as the printer was about to print in this magical way, I took the paper out of the holder. The printer kept revving and revving, refusing to complete its energy process unless there was actual paper for it to print on. So then I put a piece of paper which was already printed into the holder, and again the printer refused. It must, apparently, have a blank page. It did accept the blank side of the printed page.

One time I heard from the one I call God, that I was to give Sid his Bar Mitzvah. Now, Sid was in his seventies. He had never Bar Mitzvah'd, and he had been born Jewish, but was not religious. So I asked him if he even wanted a Bar Mitzvah. Sid - anything for a good laugh - Sid consented, figuring that the universe had a great punchline in there somewhere. I said to God, "You know, I'm not Jewish in this lifetime, and I'm not a man. How do you expect me to give Sid a Bar Mitzvah?" God told me not to worry - just to put together what I could of a Shabbos dinner, and then I'd be channeling the Bar Mitzvah blessing direct from God to Sid.

We had the dinner, and it all happened as God said it would. OK. That was that.

Next morning Sid and I were standing near my computer talking about this and that, when the scanner started to scan and the printer started to print. We knew something was up. I went over as the paper emerged from the printer, and scanned it with my hand, and it read "MAZELTOV!"

Oh, that God. Anything for a laugh. By the way, for anyone interested in the concept of the "Big Bang," it's worthwhile to consider that the universe prefers it to be called "The Big Guffaw."

Slug Fest! - 2001

I used to live in a co-housing biodynamic/devic garden community in the Rose City area of Portland, Oregon. We called ourselves Mir Cabaaning, and we had a terrific group of folks who came in for garden workshops, healings, channelings, feasts, and other occasions. On the property were three human residents - Sid and Marilyn Frances, and me. We also counted two cats, Marble and BJ, as vital community members. And all the garden plants and the trees, and the office computers, the printing press, the cars, the house - all were communicating community members.
Marilyn, Sid, and I laughed a lot. I imagine now, remembering our time together, that the universe just wanted our hilarity, and so put the three of us together for a while. I rented the trailer out back, in "Eden" - the huge biodynamic vegetable garden where I lived with old BJ. Sid and Marilyn owned the property, lived in the house, and worked at their mom-pop printing business in the converted garage office to the side. Marble supervised the entire deal, and guarded the grapevines with amazing ferocity. Not even his only pal, BJ, dared go anywhere near those grapevines; and more than once I saw fur flying as Marble whomped any neighbor cat who strayed too close.
At a certain point we were guided to convert some of the vegetable area into a cosmic peace garden of concentric circles. The whole Mir Cabaaning associated community showed up for the digging and feasting the day the transformation began, and it was a marvelous event. Out of the blue, three musicians with harp, flute, and guitar appeared and sang of sacred things while the digging went on. They were grounding a piece of heaven there in the circling circles of the cosmic peace garden.
The garden was a place for healing and meditation. Even Marble and BJ came to a feline detente with the neighbor cats, as the catnip we'd planted there grew huge. On sunny days we humans would smile at the sight of so many zonked-out pussies lying in the shade of their favorite herb. The Peace Garden plants loved to be sung-to, and, as with all plants and trees, they deeply loved the sound of the flute. Perhaps that's why the nature god, Pan, is always shown with his flute. Sometimes the garden would play jokes on
the communicator (me!). Once the plants called for me to "marry" a huge collard green. I did the ceremony, and it made a good story. Word of it got around the Portland spiritual community, and before long a hilarious story got back to me. At some gathering where people were talking about devic gardening, one of our community members had mentioned my name, saying that I was married to a collard green. The woman she was speaking with said, "Well, for heavens' sake! I'm married to a cabbage!" Who knows - there may be a day when we're all connected in such ways with every other non-human on the planet.
Toward the end of summer that year we were guided to have a Slug Fest in order to honor the power animal of Portland, the Slug. Actually, I was the one so guided. I had had several far-out (even for me) slug experiences and so I had no desire to resist my guidance when I received the nudge to create a slug-honoring event. Not so for Marilyn, who had worked against slug depredations among her veggies for many, many years. Sid - well, Sid had yet another great thing to make jokes about, and his laughter, as always, got all three of us laughing. Marilyn finally relented, and we put out the announcement for the date of the Peace Garden Slug Fest.
Our community showed up in force, and there were a number of curious visitors as well, including my actress daughter, Corrie VanAusdal, and her boyfriend Matt. Among the newbies there was a young man with a rooster problem. He had a rooster companion named "City Boy," who went everywhere with him. The young man's bride-to-be, however, refused to allow City Boy to participate in their wedding. In fact, she refused to marry unless her young man got rid of poor City Boy. As it happened, there were a husband-and-wife biodynamic farm couple at the Slug Fest, who offered to adopt City Boy and let him live with their hens.
Well, the Slug Fest was a smashing success. We did a Slug Dance, my daughter Corrie led a round of Slug Comedy Improv, the visitors all received Slug Names, and we had really yucky-looking Slug Refreshments (they tasted wonderful). And Sid, ever the one ready to say just the right thing in exactly the right way to get just great, hearty laughter from all, comically recited a poem of mine, In Search Of The Slug Sublime.
Portland Oregon ("Portal-Land" to some of us) will never be the same - nor will the USA, nor Planet Earth; and certainly our Solar System and Galaxy are now somehow magically different, all because of the Mir Cabaaning peaceful Slug Fest. Hearts and Stars go to Sid and Marilyn, somewhere in the Great Beyond. I hope Marilyn has achieved her desire of studying
personally with Rudolph Steiner! And perhaps Sid has been trading jokes with Seth, of SETH SPEAKS fame, a great favorite of the Mir Cabaaning community. Perhaps the magnificent old apple tree still stands on the old Mir Cabaaning site, with BJ buried beneath it. And wherever Marble is now, surely he has moved to a higher level of his mystical grapevine guardianship.
To Portland, and Dynamic Peace, and all the Mir Cabaaningers, now scattered! To all the little co-housing community experiments popping up in cities all over the planet! To Biodynamic gardening and farming! And hooray for Slugs! Sid and Marilyn, these laughs are for you.
IN SEARCH OF THE SLUG SUBLIME
by Carolion
If you follow the trails of glittering slime laid out in the night so late,
over the lettuces, over the beans, and over the cool grey slate --
over dew-damp grass you'll see soft bodies glide,
slathers of slithering slugs with no guide
but the yearning to merge at the end of time
with the joy of the Slug Sublime.
Over the nights and under the days,
sluggishly humming their hymns of praise,
they slide to the rhythm of slippery rhymes
in search of the Slug Sublime.